Why and How to Let Kids Make Mistakes

Teaching Your Child by Letting Them Make Mistakes

By Amanda Morin, About.com Guide

As a parent it seems like a bad idea to let your kids make mistakes. After all, isn't your job to protect them, build them up and help them learn how to do things--perfectly? Kids need to learn how to fail as much as they need to learn how to succeed.

Why to Let Kids Make Mistakes

The old adage about learning from our mistakes is true. When kids make mistakes they learn not only about themselves, but also about the people around them. If you're able to let and encourage your child to make mistakes, then he knows you'll still support him when he's not perfect.

For many parents, though, they problem is figuring how to let kids make mistakes. You need to teach them to make mistakes, just as you would teach any other skill.

How to Let Kids Make Mistakes

Teaching your child to make mistakes doesn't mean setting them up to fail. It means setting them up to do things on their own. A lot of parents are quick to jump in with little corrections to projects ("Here, let's just straighten that piece out and glue it here") or to fix homework questions when they're wrong ("Oh, you need to look at number four again, you didn't do it right. Oh, never mind, I'll just fix it real quick.").

Letting your kids make mistakes means learning to back off a little and bite your tongue at the imperfections.
Here are some ways to practice that:

• Let your child do her own thing. Whether it's an art project, a science experiment, or simply a drawing of a monster, sit back, let her create her vision and let her have the satisfaction of an independent result.


• Monitor, but don't do, your child's homework. Let's face it, the teacher wants to know what knowledge your child has obtained or areas in which he needs some more work. It's OK to answer questions and you should definitely make sure his homework is finished, but don't correct mistakes. If your child knows his homework isn't right, that's the time to help teach him the skill, not show him that you know how to do it.


• Don't be so quick to jump to the rescue. Your child needs to learn how to be a problem-solver. Maybe she did leave her lunch on the kitchen counter or her science book at school. Instead of hopping right into the car to bring her lunch over or grab the science book, let her come up with solutions herself. She may call you for her lunch or eat school lunch. She may want to get her book or she may borrow it from a friend or work out a solution with the teacher. You won't know what she can do until you let her try.


• Be a guide. In school, your child is problem doing a lot more learning by inquiry, that is, being led to find the answer than being taught by rote. This is something you can do at home, too. Phrases like "What do you think?" or "How could we figure that out?" can help your child learn to how to learn.


• Let them lose a game. It's very tempting to throw a game of Checkers or not make your best move in some other strategy game you're playing in order to let your child win. But, a win that's not earned, isn't really a win. Losing at strategic games helps kids learn how to strengthen their strategies and see that they can learn from other people.

It's not easy to sit back and watch your child's frustration. The best you can do is prepare for its possibility and know how you'll redirect your child when he does fail. As author Vic Johnson once said "In life, there are no mistakes, only lessons."

101 Family Home Evening Activities

A List of Fun Family Home Evening Ideas

From Rachel Bruner, former About.com Guide

This list of over 100 Family Home Evening activity ideas is a great place to start brainstorming some fun family activities you can do for Family Home Evening. One idea for using this list is to print a copy for each member of your family. Have them rate each activity with either a plus symbol (for ones they would be willing to try) or a minus symbol (for activities they wouldn't want to try). Activities with the most pluses are the ones your family can try first.

101 Family Home Evening Activities

Okay, there are really 116 ideas but after a 101 who counts anymore?

1. Visit the zoo.
2. Find out about your area's community center and/or park activities.
3. Wash the dog. (A neighbor's dog if you don't have one!)
4. Have a family slumber party.
5. Build a fort. (Use large appliance boxes outside, or pillows and sheets inside.)
6. Get out the the family photo album.
7. Research your family history.
8. Visit the Genealogical library.
9. Play stickball.
10. Play hopscotch.
11. Play games.
12. Clean the house together. (Have a pick-up party.)
13. Make up a play. Take it to a nursing home.
14. Fly kites.
15. Go on a family trip/historical excursion.
16. Did it snow? Go sledding and make a snowman.
17. Make a collage out of pictures from old magazines.
18. Set up a lemonade stand on a warm day.
19. Shoot hoops together. Play H.O.R.S.E.
20. Draw pictures of members of your family.
21. Make a family calendar.
22. Tell stories around a campfire. (Or at the barbecue?)
23. Organize a game of capture the flag.
24. Make miniature boats and float them in some water.
25. Write letters to grandparents or a missionary.
26. Play freeze-tag.
27. Tell scary stories (With lights out.)
28. Play broom ball.
29. Go for a hike.
30. Go for a bike ride together.
31. Go get ice cream and walk around the Temple grounds.
32. Learn to play the guitar together.
33. Listen to classical music, lights off, lying on the floor, and take turns saying what it sounds like.
34. Attend community concerts or listen to a local band.
35. Organize a community clean-up.
36. Visit the library.
37. Go ice skating or roller skating/blading.
38. Paint a picture, a mural, or a room.
39. Learn how to use a compass.
40. Organize 72 hour kits.
41. Plant a tree or some flowers.
42. Learn the metric system.
43. Learn sign language.
44. Learn Morse code.
45. Go swimming.
46. Go bird watching.
47. Walk the dog. (A neighbor's dog if you don't have one!)
48. Visit the countryside.
49. Visit the City. (Maybe on a bus?)
50. Pick berries/fruit together.
51. Bake cookies or bread.
52. Make homemade jam.
53. Take treats to neighbors or friends.
54. Plant a garden.
55. Join a family choir.
56. Start a family journal.
57. Go to a museum.
58. Take a nature hike trail.
59. Play cards. (Try Nephi's Boat or Scripture Cards.)
60. Start a family exercise group.
61. Sing in the car.
62. Visit a local bookstore.
63. Make crafts together. Give them away.
64. Make Christmas ornaments together.
65. Write a story together.
66. Put a sleeping bag out in the back yard and watch the night sky through binoculars.
67. Go fishing.
68. Play touch football.
69. Have a culture night. Make a meal and learn about another culture.
70. Take photographs.
71. Invite friends over. Cook foreign food, such as Chinese.
72. Do yard work together.
73. Play Frisbee or Ultimate Frisbee.
74. Make your own family cards for the holidays or birthdays.
75. Play chess, bridge, or checkers.
76. Go camping.
77. Go for a long walk.
78. Play charades.
79. Do a rain dance.
80. Go around the table after dinner and have everyone say what they love best about each other.
81. Go dancing, have a family dance, or take a dance class together.
82. Climb a tree.
83. Watch the sunset. Watch the sunrise. Figure out when the sun will rise and set in your location.
84. Have a big party and celebrate a TV free week.
85. Have a picnic. (If it's raining, have a picnic in the family room on a blanket.)
86. Invite a non-member family over for a barbecue.
87. Memorize the Articles of Faith.
88. Memorize a family hymn.
89. Learn how to fold the American Flag (or your country's flag). Have a patriotic night. Have a flag ceremony.
90. Visit an elderly person or someone shut in.
91. Have a first-aid night. Invite other families to come. Call the fire department for a class.
92. Learn what to do if you are lost.
93. Have a budgeting class. Save for a family trip.
94. Learn how to build a fire and cook hot dogs.
95. Have an etiquette night. Practice your skills over a formal dinner.
96. Talk about drugs. Do role-playing.
97. Have a friend come and discuss good nutrition and health practices. (Kids don't listen to mom.)
98. Learn home repairs for an activity. Make sure the girls learn too.
99. Prepare a family group sheet/four generation pedigree chart. Interview an older family member.
100. Start a family collection. (Coins, rocks, stories, dress-up, clothes, treasures.)
101. Have a family testimony meeting.
102. Have a bubble blowing contest. (Bubbles or bubble gum.)
103. Blow bubbles outside. Try different instruments.
104. Have a baking contest.
105. Adopt a grandma or grandpa from the ward.
106. Have a family fireside.
107. Watch an old movie (maybe a western) together.
108. Make a family goal chart.
109. Have a service car wash.
110. Learn to play golf together.
111. Go miniature golfing.
112. Make a grocery list, set a budget, divide items, go get pizza with the money you save.
113. Make a family cook book.
114. Have a family treasure hunt.
115. Have a family dance. Everyone can bring partners.
116. Solve a puzzle together (crossword, word search, or jigsaw).